Life is what you make it. I recently moved from a quiet town in the country to chase my big city dreams. Nothing ever goes smoothly, nothing is ever what it seems, but everyday I am getting closer. I am yet another slightly less-than-average girl trying to find her way in London, and in life.

Monday, 23 June 2014

To gay, or not to gay?

So, as I briefly mentioned in my last post, when I wasn't getting fisked my carp-man, I met the most fabulous, fantastic non/slightly/in denial gay guy ever. He reminded me loads of Bruno Mars so that is how he will be referred to from now on.

Now there are several reasons for the sexuality confusion - I was off my game due to aforementioned carp, but he was a very peculiar one. At several points did he mention wanting to get a kiss from some lovely men, then later in the evening whilst admiring a Michael Kors purse in a shop window he remarked something along the lines of 'I have such great fashion sense, maybe I should be gay'. I mean I gave him a piggy back, he felt my boob and my bum within the space of 2 hours of meeting me. That is not how I act with straight men. One of the first things I said to him was 'omg, you are so fabulous!' To which he responded very well. 

Now, I would normally think nothing of this, and just treat him like a potential gay BFF. Now, not to generalise, but I get on so well with gays. Only, most of the time they are actually definitely gay and I have no doubts, we get on like a house on fire because I am one bloody awesome fag hag, and it's generally a match made in heaven. I was generally very excited to see him again at another meetup, which would be neutral ground and we would undoubtedly hit things off again and it would all go swimmingly. However, to throw the ubiquitous spanner in the works, I got this text from him last night:

"Hey are you free on Thursday? I'm asking because if you are I'd love to take you out for a meal. Let me know."

Now, am I over thinking this? Because to me, that is a definite date text. He would love to take me out, he may or may not be gay, and I am definitely wholeheartedly not interested. However, I need new friends, I really like him and I don't want to fuck things up when it may just be a platonic invitation. But that doesn't sound like a platonic invitation to me. All in all, we have one extremely confused M. 

So now I'm questioning what the hell I should do - because he is awesome, and I am awesome, and we would generally be awesome together. As friends. Purely platonic, homosexual-in-denial man and heterosexual-not-in-denial-or-at-all-attracted-to-gay-people woman friends.

Being the overtly coy and subtle lady that I am, I replied in the only way I knew how - by throwing in as many camp stereotypes as I possibly could and coming off sounding like Graham Norton after a few too many G&T's. He now probably thinks I am some batty old bint, sat at home pissed as a fart and off her rocker, which is only partly true. 

Long story short, I have a potential date with a hopefully gay man, who is probably not gay and this is an actual definite date. The good news is that I bloody love Indian food, and that is what he suggested. We are inevitable soulmates, and that never happens between heterosexual couples. Thursday may be the funniest, loudest and most flamboyant night I've had in my life, or I may spend the night cowering away from his strange, misplaced advances and wishing I was hiding away at home watching Breaking Bad with housemate H. 

Urgh :(

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