Life is what you make it. I recently moved from a quiet town in the country to chase my big city dreams. Nothing ever goes smoothly, nothing is ever what it seems, but everyday I am getting closer. I am yet another slightly less-than-average girl trying to find her way in London, and in life.

Thursday, 19 June 2014

You have to collect a lot of stones before you get a diamond.

Since moving to London, I've been looking at going to event groups to meet new people. I am incredibly sceptical - having come from a little town in the country where people don't tend to mix outside of their school groups (never mind background, age, race, gender, location and interests) the whole concept with bizarre, new and entirely daunting. I'd been stalking a few groups on meetup.co.uk when eventually I got sick of sitting at home and decided to go for it.

I moved to London just before Christmas 2013, and I could probably count the amount of people I knew here on two hands. I have my work guys (all 3 of them), my house girls (all 3 of them, too) and one from school that I've seen twice since I've been here. But really I want my own friends, my own group of people, forged through tantrums, sweat and tears, upon whom I can rely on no matter what, without feeling like a burden.

As we have previously discovered, I am one of the most socially inept people you could ever hope to meet, so believe me when I say it's not easy for me to make honest friendships. But I I will be damned if I'm going to resign myself to being lonely and sad in London, so I figured that even if I don't make great friends straight away, at least I won't be stuck at home alone on a Saturday night.

Now, I got slightly carried away and have been to 5 meet ups over the past 10 days (queue extreme poverty and extreme tiredness in equal parts) but it is such a great idea at the time. I wish meet ups were a more common thing outside of London. When you live in the country, it is easy to feel isolated and like you are trapped in the friendship groups that you made at school - anyone else who tries to come in is treated like an outsider, like how your body reacts to a foreign entity in your body. It becomes a matter of war - everything goes into shut down, put up the blockades, do whatever needs to be done to protect yourself from enemy infiltration.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I really hate the country. The shallow, narrow-minded clique-unless. It's like you never really leave school.

So in that respect, coming to London with a clean slate was a breath of fresh air. Ridiculously daunting fresh air, but still. So back to the point - I started looking at meetups and tried to convince myself for a few weeks to bite the bullet and go to the first one. Eventually I chose a small fashion-lovers group that we're going to see the new film Grace of Monaco. There were about 6 people there and they were incredibly friendly, which made the whole thing easy. I've not made lifelong bonds and I've not met them since, but I can say with certainty that I will. The first one was th hardest, and since then, I've been on a roll. It is such a great idea for people who are at home and want to experience new things but have no one to do it with. I wish I had done it earlier.

One I went to in particular was great, let's call it LSI. I met a great girl who I really want to keep in touch with, and hopefully we are going for drinks tonight after work. Of course some have been a bit of a dud - one wasn't that friendly, at one there was no one else my age, but just don't give up. I really hope that anyone reading this is encouraged just slightly to try it, or at least have a look and consider it. It might not all be perfect, you'll have some shit experiences, but that's life, ultimately. You need to try or you'll never get anywhere, and as they say you have to collect a lot of stones before you get a diamond.

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