Life is what you make it. I recently moved from a quiet town in the country to chase my big city dreams. Nothing ever goes smoothly, nothing is ever what it seems, but everyday I am getting closer. I am yet another slightly less-than-average girl trying to find her way in London, and in life.

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Forget the 'rules', forget what you're 'meant' to do. Go out and do whatever the fuck you like.

I met Jack again last night, and as before, I couldn't control myself around him. It was a mixture of drunken snogging in the park like a 14 year old, some downright kinky S&M that has left me with a lot of bruises today and a dollop of angsty hatred thrown in.

It was over a week since I saw him last, and in that time I had begun to forget what he looked like, what he sounded like, if I even liked him, etc. I thought that if I met him again I probably wouldn't even like him that much, and that would save us all a lot of trouble. That didn't happen. I arrived. I liked him. I started drooling. I started drinking. And then blurry blurry flashes of kissing, rolling around on the grass, a stupid argument, weed with a stranger, drunken confessions of our feelings and ended up with me in his bed, acquiring said bruises. And I would do it all over again tomorrow.

Fuck being 'sensible'. Fuck playing games and pissing around. If I want something, I'll get it. And boy do I want it.

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