Life is what you make it. I recently moved from a quiet town in the country to chase my big city dreams. Nothing ever goes smoothly, nothing is ever what it seems, but everyday I am getting closer. I am yet another slightly less-than-average girl trying to find her way in London, and in life.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Things I hate about Jack.

So, that last post was pathetic. I can fully admit that now, and I sounded like a whining 14 year old. I am not proud, but I will not delete it because this is my life, in all of its embarrassing glory. I gave myself a week to moap and then told myself to buck the fuck up, and went out and bought some cocaine. Then, on my massive comedown on Saturday, I had a good little cry and on Sunday I was fixed.

Drugs are fabulous.

But in a bid to ward off any 'Oh I'm lonely, I miss Jack' thoughts, I'm going to create a list of things that I really didn't like about him. I realise this doesn't make for very interesting reading (well, neither does the rest of the blog, if we're being honest) but as I said at the beginning of the new chapter, this is less about you and more about catharsis for me, in a slightly more public format that I'm used to. So the point of this is less '10 things I hate about you, but actually I just really love you', and more '10 things I hate about you, because you are generally annoying and I really don't love you.' This is a work in progress and we'll see how it goes.
  1. His relationship with his sisters seemed borderline incestuous, it was like he was in love with them
  2. His stupid giggle when there was no need to giggle
  3. The fact that he always had to be right
  4. The fact that he knew he was always right
  5. He thought he had a perfect life, from a perfect family and generally had perfection coming out of every orifice
  6. He made me feel that I was lucky to be spending time with him
  7. I didn't come once. Or twice. Or just generally at all.  
  8. He didn't care when I said we shouldn't see each other any more. 
  9. Attention was his oxygen.
  10. He can't be happy unless he has people fawning over him. 
  11. He takes attention from anyone, I was just serving a purpose. There was nothing necessarily special about me, I just happened to be there at the time. 
  12. He was so selfish. 
  13. He never offered to buy me a drink. 
  14. We always did what he wanted, because he knew I would do what he wanted. 
  15. He never listened or asked how my day was, or cared. 
  16. Everything was a competition to beat his perfect life, fun stories and great family. 
  17. He pitied me. 
  18. I had to fight to speak. 

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