Life is what you make it. I recently moved from a quiet town in the country to chase my big city dreams. Nothing ever goes smoothly, nothing is ever what it seems, but everyday I am getting closer. I am yet another slightly less-than-average girl trying to find her way in London, and in life.

Sunday, 21 September 2014

How to meet your gay best friend

I've been thinking about this for a while now, how to meet gay guys as a straight female. Throughout my life I've had issues making female friends, I just can't sympathise with their issues and generally I find women to be overly petty. Throughout college gay guys were my BFFs, but of course when I moved to London, I left them at home. Now, I need to find a new one. But the question is, how the hell do you go about meeting gay guys when you just want to be their friend?

I've cautiously asked Google whilst feeling like an utter douchebag at the same time "where to meet gay guys in London", "how to get a gay BFF" and even thought about posting an add on Gumtree, but then thought better of it. How do you go about meeting and making friends with a specific type of person without sounding like a stereotypical, naive loser?

My encounter with "is he/isn't he gay" Bruno did not go well, so trying to meet gay guys at meetups is not the best idea. I need a sure-fire way of meeting someone and knowing from the offset that they are 100% homosexual. I cannot be doing with the questioning, self-doubt paranoia that came with my last experience, it's just as bad as the "will he call me?" dilemma.

I am currently on the atrocious online dating app OkCupid, so I did adjust my settings to find gay guys and considered messaging them... but they were so attractive and I felt like an inadequate fool. Who am I to interrupt their quest for The One with my pathetic pipe-dream of making new friends? So instead, I looked at all of their profiles, which will notify them of my stalking, and will instead just hope that they message me instead. Yay for cowardice. 

I considered going along to a gay meetup, but then remembered the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte pretends to be a lesbian to make intelligent, self-assured art-loving friends but then gets surreptitiously kicked to the curb when she reveals that she isn't actually gay. I then briefly considered my whole Orange is the New Black/being a lesbian looks hot theory and I'm not quite over that one yet. I'm still considering it. 

Anyway, whilst cringing with shame, I decided to look in the App Store for 'gay friends' (quickly bypassing Grindr and all of those variations) and downloaded Skout, 'the' app for making local friends apparently. Whilst feeling more and more pathetic by the second, I thought that maybe, just maybe, my future BFF would be waiting which would make it all worth it. 

There is the option to search for men who are interested in men, but generally it is the most diabolical app in the world. I think I have fairly narrow criteria, looking for gay men between 21-29 who are 'here', apparently, but no. My results are still loading, and have been for the past 45 minutes. Well, fuck you too Skout. 

And so my quest continues. Does anyone have any suggestions? Apart from therapy. In the meantime, I guess I will continue my search in real life, and deal with the issues that causes =/

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