Life is what you make it. I recently moved from a quiet town in the country to chase my big city dreams. Nothing ever goes smoothly, nothing is ever what it seems, but everyday I am getting closer. I am yet another slightly less-than-average girl trying to find her way in London, and in life.

Sunday, 12 October 2014

How to take back your life.

There are so many things we do for other people. We work, we help, we go through the motions, and most of the time it is because we are told that is what we should be doing. We go to work to make enough money to pay the rent. We go to the gym to attract the opposite sex. We clean our homes out of courtesy for housemates/parents/partners/landlords. We make dinner and care for the family because stereotypes tell us to. We get up in the morning because that is what we have to do. What do we actually do that is purely, inherently, selfishly for our own immediate gain? Not enough, it would seem. So how do you take back control?

Start saying no.
In this modern day and age, we are constantly being told to say yes to everything, and that if we don't, we aren't living. We are made to feel guilty, pathetic, boring, old, if we are not saying yes, every minute of the day. How can we say yes to everything, when by doing so we are saying no to ourselves? We are removing the freedom of choice and telling ourselves there is no choice. We need to start saying no, we need to for our sanity's sake. By saying no, we are empowering ourselves to say yes again, when we want to. Stop doing what the media/the world/life tells you to do and do what the fuck you want to do. Stop feeling obliged, pressured, like you 'should'. Take control of your life. Only do things that make you deeply, truly excited, things that you really want to do. Say no.

If you want to stay in all weekend and sleep, you do it, and don't you dare apologise to anyone. Especially not yourself, it is what you need. Someone else may want to go out and party, but you might not, and that is okay. You are the most important person that you need to take care of, because if you are not okay, you can't help anyone else to be okay.

We know that we live in a blessed society and that there is so much to do all the time. But when did that stop becoming a gift, and start becoming a requirement? Why is it necessary to feel that listening to what we need, taking care of ourselves, taking a moment, is a waste of precious time? Life is not short, life is the longest thing any of us will ever know. We are made to believe that time is constantly ticking, that time is forever slipping out of our grasp, that there is this sense of urgency. It is the oldest sales tactic in the book, and one that the whole world has bought into. We need to slow down. We need to stop, listen and just be.

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